Demisexual

When asexuality doesn't fit.

2010.10.22 12:34 aveniraveugle When asexuality doesn't fit.

A subreddit about demisexuality. A demisexual is a person who may experience sexual attraction but only after forming a strong emotional connection with someone. It's all a spectrum. Some demisexuals may feel very close to asexuality and experience attraction to extremely few people in their entire lifetimes, and each may take a very long time to develop, while others may find attraction develops more frequently and often find themselves crushing on their friends.
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2016.11.13 19:04 swimneko Black, White, Grey, Purple

A page for demisexuals to gather and discuss anything and everything!
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2009.03.16 18:49 ma1kel asexuality

Asexuality is a sexual orientation where a person doesn't experience sexual attraction towards anyone. This is a place for asexuals, demisexuals, aromantics, gray-a's, questioning, supporters, folks just interested, and everyone in between.
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2020.10.26 00:33 aherrmann55 finding a new spectrum

I found out about the demisexuality spectrum today and now everything makes sense, at least I think it does. Growing up I never had a celebrity crush. The only crushes I've had are only people who I had first been friends with. I have friends who go, "bro doesn't she have a nice ass" and I'm also like "sure, I guess". A one night stand has never sounded appealing to me, how could you have sex with someone you just met? Could the lack of sexual attraction just be from the fact that I'm shy and nervous about those things until I get to know someone? I've only had a single sexual relationship with someone only after I found out they were just as goofy as me and made me feel completely comfortable. Or is that the entire idea of this spectrum?
submitted by aherrmann55 to demisexuality [link] [comments]


2020.10.26 00:14 Cmdr_Jhnsn Dumb question, do I count?

So I’ve been identifying as bi for a while now, and after some thought I’m not sure if that’s a 100% accurate label, or if I should still use it. I think the most accurate term to describe me would be Biromantic Demisexual, and I know that you should use whatever labels you’re most comfortable with, but is it still valid for me to ID as bi, at least as a shorthand for people who I know won’t bother to try and understand my actual identity? I guess since I am technically attracted to both the same and different genders, I still qualify, but I wanted to see what everyone else thought
submitted by Cmdr_Jhnsn to bisexual [link] [comments]


2020.10.25 23:34 Open-Mind-Open-Heart Title: 28 [M4F] Michigan/US/Online – Open-Minded Cornball Seeks Long Term Partner to Cherish and Grow With

Hello there! I’m looking for a wonderful human that’s interested in facilitating a long term relationship with an open-minded cornball (me). Now, I realize inter-species dating between humans and corn is taboo in our society, so you’ll need to keep it on the down low, okay? (Also, I’m non-GMO in case you were worried).
To make sure that I don’t waste your time (or mine) I’m going to toss out some general qualities I’m looking for in a match. I’ve always disliked the idea of ‘dating shopping lists’, so please don’t consider this to be an inflexible list: Open-minded, intellectually curious, has a passion for something (anything), enjoys conversation/banter, doesn’t have kids, located in the US and is around my age (24-32).
Ideally, I would like to meet in-person at some point, but if we need to make a long distance relationship work, I’m more than happy to do that for the right person.
Now that I’m done listing things about the hypothetical person reading this, I’ll list some things about me. I’m a slender white guy with medium length black hair and a height of 5’7”. I’m not shy about my appearance and I’d be happy to do a mutual picture exchange after a few messages. I studied psychology and research methodology in school and have a master’s degree. I currently work in a research related field.
Romantically speaking, I’m part demisexual and part sapiosexual. This means that I like to form strong emotional and intellectual bonds with my partner. I’m a very affectionate person, so I hope you like to be hugged, cuddled, massaged and lots of other fun stuff :) The thought of cuddling with my partner while we’re both wrapped up in some blankets like a cozy burrito is enough to melt my heart and make me feel warm and fuzzy inside. I want my partner to feel cared for and I want to help them grow by assisting them through life’s many challenges.
My greatest passions in life up to this point have been twofold 1) The pursuit of knowledge and 2) The pursuit of wisdom. I’m basically trying to achieve Gandalf status by age 70ish. I even have some nice robes and a big stick already picked out. I spend a lot of my free time reading non-fiction books, watching documentaries and listening to podcasts/presentations. I’m the type of person that’s open to everything, there’s no opinion or stance that’s off-limits because I believe that you’ll never arrive at the truth of things unless you take every side and every argument seriously. I have my stances on things, but I’m always open to expanding my understanding or changing my view entirely if I’m wrong. I’m not the type to get ‘triggered’ or any other such mainstream nonsense. I’d rather know the ugly truth than believe a comforting lie.
Just to give you a feel for what I’ve looked into, here’s yet another list: History, nutrition, medicine, health in general, exercise, engineering, computer coding, game design and the list goes on and on.
But, don’t worry, I’m not just some stuffy old wizard with my nose in a book 24/7. I also enjoy lots of frivolous stuff too. Board games, video games, various anime (I’m not a weeb I swear), all kinds of music and casual outdoor activities. I’ve actually even made some of my own games as well, both physical and digital. I never got around to finishing any of them, haha, but one of them has a working online mode (because I wanted to learn netcode).
If you made it to the end of this monstrous post please feel free to send a message (not a chat request). Just to get you started in case you’re looking for ideas, tell me about your passions, what you want out of a relationship and some background about yourself. Also, if you have any ‘deal breakers’ that weren’t covered in my post, please state them up front and be honest.
As a final note, the Reddit account I’m using was made just for dating. I don’t partake in social media whatsoever so I wouldn’t even be able to use a ‘real’ Reddit account if I wanted to, haha.
submitted by Open-Mind-Open-Heart to ForeverAloneDating [link] [comments]


2020.10.25 22:33 koneko10414 Definitely stress, but something more?

So something to know before I state my nightmare. I'm having some difficulties in life right now trying to juggle school, home, and friend life, and my friends are...not making it the easiest on me. So I went to watch and support one on their twitch stream, and it...was kind of like getting slapped in the face, and not in the "oh I see now" kind of way. I say this because I've had a similar nightmare before, but have no clue what was going on then.
Anyways, my nightmare started off great. I was on a beach coast with lots of skyscrapers, people, and very vibrant colors. The sun was bright, but not blinding, and the air was warm with a delicate, cool breeze. There was no sound, but everyone was smiling genuinely and having a good time. I couldn't see anyone in the buildings though, but I also didn't pay much attention to it.
In this world, I apparently had a crocodile and a chocolate lab friend, both of who were anthropomorphic. The crocodile dressed in 90's get up, complete with purple backwards baseball cap, where everything was loose, the logos were weird, and there was a lot of purple, green, and yellow. The lab was nude I think, but the other anthros around usually were too. I had been skateboarding with them when I can't skate to save my life IRL, but it was fun, and we stood around chatting for a bit before I began walking elsewhere.
I had a very close friend in this nightmare, looked an awful lot like MatPat from Game Theory, and we were, for whatever reason, on a deep emotional connection. But he was not a YouTuber here, he was a businessman, and I decided to visit him in his office. I'm not sure what the business was exactly, but there were monitors everywhere. This is where the creepy part starts to slowly sneak up.
So I had just sort of teleported into my friend's office, as I don't remember walking in, and we were sitting in his couch while he was chatting to me and we were laughing. There was still no sound, and at one of the points that we were laughing, I noticed one of the monitors went black. I didn't pay any mind to it in the nightmare, but I remember it now and it was weird. The sun had began to set, and as it did, the monitors slowly started to shift to nothing.
I think my in-dream self noticed, because I could feel myself say I needed to go. I was on the sidewalk again, but it was cold now, the air was dead, there was absolutely no one around, no clouds nor stars in the sky, the skyscrapers looked intimidating instead of awe-inspiring, and the whole place went from vibrant colors of the morning to bland grays, silvers, and greens, and the only green thing was the grass. As I was passing by a major metro square, where it was like that street in New York with all the screens, this guy began to appear on all of them. All I ever heard in the nightmare was his voice. "I see you." That was the first thing he said. He had a medium tone, but you could tell he was straining to make it deeper, and because of the strain, it was slightly raspy. I began to run, but wherever I ran, there was a monitor where he would pop up. There was a courtyard that I knew of that had no technology except a big, multi faucet water fountain that I ran to.
Well, he was there. He was very rotund and had on a khaki colored jogger's romper and glasses, but the rest of him was shadow, which is why I couldn't discern him on the screens. "Where do you think you're going," he questioned as he ran after me when I turned tail to bolt. This guy was obviously no runner, but he caught up to me the moment I turned and tackled me to the ground, easily overpowering me. It's difficult to do that as I'm no wilting flower, and him being able to turn me onto my back with my wrists away from me was even more bizarre seeing as I'm actually decently strong and pretty heavy. But he does this anyways, and he gets some sort of weapon out of his pocket. I can tell I'm screaming the whole time, but the only things I hear are him and the splash of the fountain in the background.
"I know how connected you two are. I want him to notice me. So I'll go through you to get to him." The him there being my friend, and the way he threatened to do this was gouging out my eyes, which meant my friend would feel the pain, but I don't think he'd have lost his own eyes. I was turning my head violently though, screaming soundlessly as he attempted to do so. I woke up just as the object was about to touch my eye.
I don't remember the nightmare exactly before, but the big details were that my eyes were being taken out. Years ago was my left, this time was my right. I have no clue what this means, and I'm willing (somewhat even pleading) for an explanation to this. Curiosity piqued my interest years ago and I never got an answer, and today may be very important for me to learn what's going on so maybe I can do something about it. And since it's important to know about me: I'm the person in my icon. Female, 28 (my birthday was October 23rd, the 24th usually really sucks for me, which is when this nightmare happened), I am an INFP-T personality type, and I'm a pandemic (demisexual panromantic). I am 6 feet (182.88 cm) tall and weigh around 300 pounds (136.08 kg). I usually stand my ground in my dreams, but nightmares I'm typically very weak, as I depicted above.
submitted by koneko10414 to DreamInterpretation [link] [comments]


2020.10.25 22:19 beautyadored23 Any advice or encouragement?

I am mad confused these days. Yesterday I was having a convo w. My mom abt how men just dont flatter me, they are disappointing & I feel like they are only good for pro creating.( she asked of I was thinking abt girls & I said no) I am demisexual/demiromantic. I just came to this realization. I used to avoid this fact bcs I was an attn seeker and loved having the attn of a man so to keep them around and maintain that attn I’d find myself in relationship, situationships or locationships w. A dude I really didnt even like. & since men immediately are sexual sexual sexual I find it hard to really connect with them. every time I try to friend zone I know they’ll stop talking to me. Know I’m at a point where I dont care for their attn at all. I think I want to explore women but I dont want anyone to feel like an experiment. Nor do I want to actually be invested in a woman & BE JUDGED for doing so. But I know with me being DS/DR a bond with a woman would be more suitable and understanding bcs thats the nature of who we are. I used to have this roommate years ago that was a lesbian & something stood out to me & she said “I found myself interested in girls from an emotional standpoint not sexual thats when I knew I liked girls” & I resonated with it so much but only at that point I was not interested in women at all & never questioned myself. I’ve been on this recent journey of self awareness & now I’m questioning myself like has this been what I desire all along?
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2020.10.25 22:16 beautyadored23 Venting

I am mad confused these days. Yesterday I was having a convo w. My mom abt how men just dont flatter me, they are disappointing & I feel like they are only good for pro creating.( she asked of I was thinking abt girls & I said no) I am demisexual/demiromantic. I just came to this realization. I used to avoid this fact bcs I was an attn seeker and loved having the attn of a man so to keep them around and maintain that attn I’d find myself in relationship, situationships or locationships w. A dude I really didnt even like. & since men immediately are sexual sexual sexual I find it hard to really connect with them. every time I try to friend zone I know they’ll stop talking to me. Know I’m at a point where I dont care for their attn at all. I think I want to explore women but I dont want anyone to feel like an experiment. Nor do I want to actually be invested in a woman & BE JUDGED for doing so. But I know with me being DS/DR a bond with a woman would be more suitable and understanding bcs thats the nature of who we are. I used to have this roommate years ago that was a lesbian & something stood out to me & she said “I found myself interested in girls from an emotional standpoint not sexual thats when I knew I liked girls” & I resonated with it so much but only at that point I was not interested in women at all & never questioned myself. I’ve been on this recent journey of self awareness & now I’m questioning myself like has this been what I desire all along?
submitted by beautyadored23 to bisexualadults [link] [comments]


2020.10.25 21:41 beautyadored23 Questioning myself alot lately

I am mad confused these days. Yesterday I was having a convo w. My mom abt how men just dont flatter me, they are disappointing & I feel like they are only good for pro creating.( she asked of I was thinking abt girls & I said no) I am demisexual/demiromantic. I just came to this realization. I used to avoid this fact bcs I was an attn seeker and loved having the attn of a man so to keep them around and maintain that attn I’d find myself in relationship, situationships or locationships w. A dude I really didnt even like. & since men immediately are sexual sexual sexual I find it hard to really connect with them. every time I try to friend zone I know they’ll stop talking to me. Know I’m at a point where I dont care for their attn at all. I think I want to explore women but I dont want anyone to feel like an experiment. Nor do I want to actually be invested in a woman & BE JUDGED for doing so. But I know with me being DS/DR a bond with a woman would be more suitable and understanding bcs thats the nature of who we are. I used to have this roommate years ago that was a lesbian & something stood out to me & she said “I found myself interested in girls from an emotional standpoint not sexual thats when I knew I liked girls” & I resonated with it so much but only at that point I was not interested in women at all & never questioned myself. I’ve been on this recent journey of self awareness & now I’m questioning myself like has this been what I desire all along?
submitted by beautyadored23 to lgbt [link] [comments]


2020.10.25 21:40 beautyadored23 Confused to say the least

I am mad confused these days. Yesterday I was having a convo w. My mom abt how men just dont flatter me, they are disappointing & I feel like they are only good for pro creating.( she asked of I was thinking abt girls & I said no) I am demisexual/demiromantic. I just came to this realization. I used to avoid this fact bcs I was an attn seeker and loved having the attn of a man so to keep them around and maintain that attn I’d find myself in relationship, situationships or locationships w. A dude I really didnt even like. & since men immediately are sexual sexual sexual I find it hard to really connect with them. every time I try to friend zone I know they’ll stop talking to me. Know I’m at a point where I dont care for their attn at all. I think I want to explore women but I dont want anyone to feel like an experiment. Nor do I want to actually be invested in a woman & BE JUDGED for doing so. But I know with me being DS/DR a bond with a woman would be more suitable and understanding bcs thats the nature of who we are. I used to have this roommate years ago that was a lesbian & something stood out to me & she said “I found myself interested in girls from an emotional standpoint not sexual thats when I knew I liked girls” & I resonated with it so much but only at that point I was not interested in women at all & never questioned myself. I’ve been on this recent journey of self awareness & now I’m questioning myself like has this been what I desire all along?
submitted by beautyadored23 to actuallesbians [link] [comments]


2020.10.25 21:39 beautyadored23 Concerning

I am mad confused these days. Yesterday I was having a convo w. My mom abt how men just dont flatter me, they are disappointing & I feel like they are only good for pro creating.( she asked of I was thinking abt girls & I said no) I am demisexual/demiromantic. I just came to this realization. I used to avoid this fact bcs I was an attn seeker and loved having the attn of a man so to keep them around and maintain that attn I’d find myself in relationship, situationships or locationships w. A dude I really didnt even like. & since men immediately are sexual sexual sexual I find it hard to really connect with them. every time I try to friend zone I know they’ll stop talking to me. Know I’m at a point where I dont care for their attn at all. I think I want to explore women but I dont want anyone to feel like an experiment. Nor do I want to actually be invested in a woman & BE JUDGED for doing so. But I know with me being DS/DR a bond with a woman would be more suitable and understanding bcs thats the nature of who we are. I used to have this roommate years ago that was a lesbian & something stood out to me & she said “I found myself interested in girls from an emotional standpoint not sexual thats when I knew I liked girls” & I resonated with it so much but only at that point I was not interested in women at all & never questioned myself. I’ve been on this recent journey of self awareness & now I’m questioning myself like has this been what I desire all along?
submitted by beautyadored23 to bisexual [link] [comments]


2020.10.25 21:05 AutoModerator Weekly /r/demisexuality discussion thread October 25, 2020

Weekly discussion thread. A place where you can discuss random things that might only half have to do with demisexuality, or share our experiences. Chat away.
submitted by AutoModerator to demisexuality [link] [comments]


2020.10.25 19:32 lilbigmouth Unsure if I have been abused or just uncomfortable with sexuality.

TL; DR: Not sure if I have been abused or I'm uncomfortable with being demisexual.
I'm not sure if I have been abused once or twice now.
My second experience of it, I only figured out on Thursday evening. N is 6 years younger than me and now has a boyfriend (I think from a hookup idk). We were never officially anything, but I had feelings for N, or so I thought, from January this year. I was confused as to why they didn't feel the same way considering back in 2018 they had told me that they loved me. I don't think they displayed all of the signs which I have now read into, but there were definitely signs I recognised that have happened to me this year, and I'm not sure if I will ever forgive N for that. But they have been blocked for over 2 months now. This one drove me to therapy, which I was having around the time that I thought I got feelings. But then I was ghosted for 2 months by N because I was being "too positive" (I eventually found out).
As I think about it more, I had a friend that I was quite close to up until the end of 2018. I cut ties with them when I found out that they had slept with somebody that year. It was almost like that sleeping with somebody was a competition with him.
I think there is a common theme in them, and I'm not sure if it's the narcissism or not. The first N saw it as a competition, the second N seemed to be desperate for it like it would solve all of their problems.
Recently, I have been coming to terms with the fact that I may be demisexual. And right now, and the reason I make this post, is that I'm not proud of that. A family friend who is around 4 years younger than me (I'm 26) announced she is pregnant today. And that should be great news considering at one point it looked like she would never be able to due to cancer. But instead of reacting well to it, I reacted badly, and I find it depressing.
I've been bored today too. I feel like I have lost so much this year. It felt like none of my friends have been available today. And I feel desperate to find an SO, to the point where I've even now considered looking for a hookup, which is a culture I really do not like.
submitted by lilbigmouth to NarcissisticAbuse [link] [comments]


2020.10.25 18:07 artsynerdmillenial Sometimes it's clear and sometimes it's not

Hey everyone. I have been exploring the idea of being lesbian for about two months now and sometimes I feel like it's so crystal clear that I'm into women. But other times I feel exactly the opposite. When thinking in hypothetical situations, I definitely feel like I'm turned on by women. But any time I think of that becoming reality and taking the next step forward in dating someone, I end up feeling a sense of nervousness so bad that it almost feels like dread. I think that I have a lot of anxiety around sex because of my experiences with guys which never ended up going "all the way" because I was taking things slowly and didn't want to be too much out of my comfort zone. I also have a history of religious brainwashing and control around sex. Basically, sex before marriage was bad, lgbtq was a choice and it was the wrong one, and there was a push to find someone who was a good match (same beliefs, upstanding church member, etc.). I thought that I had gotten over a lot of the religious trauma stuff, but now that I'm wanting to explore dating women, I don't know if my wildly different feelings are a result of residual religious trauma or if I'm more on the asexual or demisexual spectrum. My question is simple I guess. Has anyone else had to deal with wildly differing feelings when exploring same sex attraction and were you able to come to a point where everything was clear about your sexuality and you were able to pursue a happy relationship? Thanks a bunch in advance!
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2020.10.25 17:16 Aimless_Haha-724 My partner came out to me as possibly Ace, but says she isnt sure and im not sure what i should do?

Fyi: Ive come back after typing everything out and this boi is long to look at but its only about a 3-5 minute read? Thank you so much to anyone who has a read and drops a suggestion, im keeping it a little vague deliberately as i dont want my partner to think im upset or having doubts, i just want to know the best way to help her figure herself out
Hi there, im (23M....is that how i do it?)....really new to this Reddit thing....in fact this is literally my first post anywhere?
Im not even sure if i should be posting here but i know my partner uses this thread so wanted to give it a shot....apologies for length i type alot😅
Ive been dating my girlfriend for just over a year now and about 4 months into the relationship, she admitted to me that she'd never had sex with anyone, and the only remotely sexual experience she'd had was negative and didnt go very far.....she described it as 'feeling peer pressured' and 'being anxious and uncomfortable' the whole time it was happening.
I like to think im an accepting person, and have been in some bad relationships myself, and she was worried it would make me stop caring about her and not want to be with her, but i understood her hesitation to tell me completely, due to my experiences in the past and knowing how difficult that could be to talk about with someone, we've had no relationship problems so far and we love each other very much, she's my whole world.
She's always struggled with self esteem and seeing herself in a positive light, as have i, and we've been working on it together and she's come really really far and im so proud of her.
We didnt kiss at all for the first few months of our relationship, she was barely comfortable holding hands and wouldnt accept any compliments i gave her just saying 'no' or 'not true' sometimes....but she's slowly grown in confidence and i couldnt be more proud of her and happy she is more comfortable in herself and trying to figure herself out, we're going completely at her pace and im just happy to be with her through it all.
A couple of months ago, she said she wanted to talk to me about something serious after i came back from a weekend away, it had been our first time apart throughout lockdown and....i wont lie i was worried something was really really wrong but...she just wanted to talk. We actually ended up almost not talking, i could tell she was nervous and we sat down to watch some stuff on the sofa and i asked her what it was she wanted to talk about....we had a conversation about how we were both developing with each other and figuring things out....and she told me she thought she might be Asexual.
I knew she struggled with intimacy but on more of an anxiety level, as i said we've gradually become more comfortable around each other over time, and she'd been worried to talk to me about it. She said she wasnt certain and i suggested it could be something to do with anxiety within relationships, and possibly because her only experience had been vastly negative. We spoke for a while and ended on the same point as earlier in the relationship: we love each other and i just want her to be happy and comfortable whatever that takes.
She happened to have counselling later that week, and when she came back she said she'd gone from around 40/50% to more 80-100%, but said she still liked affection and hugs and kissing and intimacy up to that sort of level (im a very affectionate person and she constantly assures me she's okay with it), and i again reiterated i love her and just want her to be happy and safe, we go at her speed and if she wants to stop we stop there, and ive always been comfortable with whatever she wants.
Fast forward to now and.....im not sure what to feel/do..... Im still totally comfortable with her being Asexual, this isnt some sudden catastrophic realisation (i myself identify as Bisexual but suspect i may be Demisexual...that is where you need a deep emotional connection with a person first right? Ive never rushed into sexual relations until im totally comfortable with a person), but....she is sending mixed messages and im worried she doesnt trust im okay with her decision...
When she told me initially, she said 'i might be Demisexual, which means it is just a comfort/anxiety thing and i still like affection and cuddling and kissing', and we've touched on it again a couple of times since and she always says she 'doesnt know' or ' isnt certain', and always says that she's 'indecisive about everything', she's not been able to say she definitely is or isnt one thing or another which i understand....im worried she doesnt trust that im accepting of her being Asexual and mentally she feels she has to leave both doors open to make sure im happy but....i dont think ive made any signals that im not?
Ive always said i just want her to be happy and comfortable in herself, and i love her no matter what, and i mean that with all my heart, my opinion of her hasnt changed at all, i feel nothing but happiness when im with her and i convey it 24/7, i make sure she doesnt feel smothered or overwhelmed, i make sure she is comfortable if i do something differently or new (sleeping position, hand placement, that sort of thing) to make sure she is still comfortable and feels safe....
I think my question is.....is there anyway i can do more to help her? Or to show im comfortable either way? She says that she is still uncertain, and is perfectly comfortable talking about the idea of sex in passing, but during a serious conversation her language changes and becomes more.... protective? Using terms like 'touched up' and 'felt all over', making me think it could be influenced by her past experience....
I need to be clear, i have no intention of pushing her in any direction or towards an influenced decision, i just want to help her figure herself out and be comfortable with who she is, any and all help/suggestion is massively appreciated!
(Also apologies if ive breached any etiquette or done anything wrong, as i said i literally just made this account as i was finding alot of people pointed in this direction for advice/help)
submitted by Aimless_Haha-724 to asexuality [link] [comments]


2020.10.25 16:25 Otherwise_Twist 28F, haven't had much experience in relationships in general due to being demisexual but now I'm awkward and don't know how to approach women or to know where to find them in the world of so many social media dating apps. I'm from India btw and with its still shameful way of treating queerness it's

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2020.10.25 15:20 newtruereligion Does anyone else feel demisexual towards one gender, but not towards the other?

Someone posted a text post that said “I don’t think men are attractive like that unless I have an emotional connection - I can appreciate their looks but it doesn’t do anything for me physically.”
It made me realize I (28 F) feel this way about men. It’s rare for me to see a guy and feel any kind of sexual attraction before knowing his personality and the dynamic between us. I am romantically attracted to men that I’m sexually attracted to who also seem to provide what I might want in a partner.
However, when it comes to women if she’s my type physically and she is flirty towards me and/or I know she’s into girls, I definitely am sexually attracted without needing to really know who she is as a person. However, being romantically attracted definitely requires me to know her personally and the dynamic between us.
Does anyone else experience demi sexuality towards one gender, but “fully” sexually attracted to the other by looks alone? I know I’m attracted to men, but it makes me question if I really am or if I’m just socialized to be attracted to them. I’m not interested in casual sex with men for the most part unless I’m at least friends with them, whereas I would absolutely sleep with a girl I just met. There is less “risk” involved with sex with a girl, but it’s not all because of that it’s just way less appealing to me.
However, relationships with men are usually what I end up in because it makes me feel more secure and I honestly have never met a girl that I feel a relationship with would work out, even though I’m definitely open to it. I have been romantically attracted to girls and even in love but it’s just never seemed like it would lead to a healthy relationship.
I’m sure this is related to my “type” in both men and women logically and practically a guy makes more sense in my mind as a partner, but women are way more sexually attractive to me.
Can anyone relate?
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2020.10.25 14:35 pm_me_raunchy_briefs 23; M4R; Looking for a long-time wank buddy; Chennai.

Before the generic info-dump:
  1. Not into ghosting. This means that idgaf if you end up ghosting me and I won't ghost you just after one session.
  2. Doesn't need to be just sexual. We can talk about anything under the sun. I'm not nerdily read but I've scrolled and flipped enough to hold a conversation.
Hello, primates.
COVID-19 has passively done more damage than it did on our lungs. Physical, mental, and sexual health has just gone completely out of the window.
I'm straight and here for someone to bond over non-penetrative stuff. Porn is fine and everything, but without another human to connect with, every aspect of my sexuality feels like a hollow thing and I just feel like I'm going through the motions.
IRL and Online.
Despite my plea for some casual fun, I'm kind of a demisexual which really inhibits my opening up. It's a struggle, lol. But I think this time my horniness will trump over it.
(Not bicurious either, just looking to someone to jerk off with.)
Not into BDSM. Into sexting, talking about previous experiences (you can rant to me), casual submission, and light bondage (maybe).
📍
submitted by pm_me_raunchy_briefs to r4rindia [link] [comments]


2020.10.25 14:25 averylemon Ace questions if their demisexual

Ace questions if their demisexual submitted by averylemon to lgballt [link] [comments]


2020.10.25 14:19 melancholiclogician 23 [F4F] Constant kausap?

Hindi ko na rin sigurado kung ano hanap ko. Kausap? Kakwentuhan? Let's talk about anything and everything really. Kalaro? Tara among us o pubg. Kaibigan? Damayan kita kung may problema ka. Kalandian? Hindi ako marunong lumandi sa totoo lang, teach me how? Char haha. Pero pwede naman all of the above. Let's see how things go nalang.
About me: - working professional so after work lang ako magiging available for a chat - demisexual homoromantic - she/her
About you: - basta makakausap
submitted by melancholiclogician to phr4r [link] [comments]


2020.10.25 11:32 eaw1029 recently discovered this label fits me, that physical touch is super important to me, now what?

Hello! a bit of background: So recently I've discovered that the label 'demisexual' fits me better than any other label. I'm someone who tends to get sexual attractions if I have romantic feelings or a strong connection to the person (usually females, I'm female myself). I feel like I could potentially get these feelings for both genders, but I find I connect better with women, I just haven't really had that level of connection with a guy.
All of the last academic year I was living with another girl who very quickly after meeting we formed a physical relationship- always touching, laying together, holding hands, kissing (not lips but maybe neck, arms, etc.), massages, etc. This was the first time that I had had this type of touching without sex being implied and I grew to crave that touch. We were like this in total for about 10 months, throughout all of quarantine too. I ended up having feelings for her and told her, which weren't reciprocated, but that's a whole other story....
But back to what I was saying...we're no longer roommates (she's left the city we live in) and it's been really hard for me since she's left to get used to not having this physical contact. I feel like for most sexual-typical (? is that a term? lol) people, this touching stuff comes hand in hand with sexual experiences and is easy to find. But I feel like it's hard to find that type of touching in a non-overtly sexual yet intimate way like I had it with my roommate. All I know is that I really miss having that touch and it really was key in forming sexual feelings.
I'm really blue about it because I feel like having that closeness over such a long, drawn out time period was a rare opportunity and now it's gone. I fell for this girl, which is exciting, but has just turned into nothing. I'm trying to focus on the tangible and what I learned about myself from the experience- like that I am demisexual and that I do need this type of touch in my life--but I am desperately looking to find this type of connection again but it's hard, especially when I feel like IT found ME last time. It's also hard to find people that understand this frustration. Doesn't anyone have any tips for me? Whether they be practical things I can do, how to get over this missing and feeling like I'll never have that again with anyone, words of wisdom...?
I really appreciate it!
submitted by eaw1029 to demisexuality [link] [comments]


2020.10.25 06:43 GregorythePenguin Trying to adjust to my new person's dating habits

I'm demiromantic and like a sprinkle of demisexual.
My newest person has a pretty normal romantic drive, which I did not realize when we first got together.
They also did not disclose that they were actively using dating apps. They told me as they were setting up a virtual date with someone, and it was a huge shock to me. This was a few months ago, and it still has left a bad taste in my mouth.
We talked about it, and they said they'd do better about letting me know when they are talking/pursuing a particular person. (For context, I have no idea how online dating works.)
I know logically that their style of dating isn't any more or less valid than mine, but I don't know if I can consider this person as a long term or serious partner.
This cycle of so many people in and out of their life near constantly makes me very uneasy. It is a lot of change all the time.
I'm thinking of having a renegotiation of relationship terms. Maybe FWBs? I like being around this person, and I like the physical affection, but I'm having a hard time latching a romantic attachment.
I just want to know I'm not alone. And I needed to get those feelings out.
submitted by GregorythePenguin to DemiAndPoly [link] [comments]


2020.10.25 04:39 TheGinger6readH0use Ace Rings

Hi again everyone! So recently I've really wanted to get a Ace ring. (I'm Ace-Flux/Greysexual ((what I say a lot begrudgingly)) This ring in particular from Etsy:
(https://www.etsy.com/listing/777907534/slim-asexual-demisexual-grey-ace-card?gpla=1&gao=1&)
(It's a glossy black band with a small silver painted heart on it)
But I was curious, as Greysexuals, do y'all wear ace rings??? I would really like one and I feel a strong connection with the "Ace of hearts" saying. And I wanted to know what your thought. Toodles 💜
submitted by TheGinger6readH0use to Greysexuality [link] [comments]


2020.10.25 04:26 wineblood Hetero demi, straight or queer?

This is something I'm often thinking about when it comes up on a questionnaire. As a hetero-romantic and demisexual, it feels like the least queer thing one could be. In my close group of friends, half of them are definitely bi and the rest I'm not sure of but could easily be, so I feel like the "straight" one. Other times I'll see how straight people act and talk, and think that's nothing how I feel about relationships/sex.
I can't be the only one who wonders about this, which side do you consider yourself to be on?
submitted by wineblood to demisexuality [link] [comments]